“I am”

“I am” the awareness of which is a life turner. Don’t get me wrong, I am not referring to the egoistic feeling in me, but the life force that transpires through every single atom in the universe. It is the same life force that makes the electrons move in a atom to spiralling galaxies.

How do I acknowledge the existence of this life force in me? Is my mortal life enough proof of it? Is there a better way to become aware of this in me?

I have been practicing the Vippassana form of meditation for years, so I used this technique to observe the life force in me. Not merely in the form of breathing or the sensations that happen continuously within me, but an energy source that is witnessing all experiences. This awareness is completely indescribable. Once I am in that state of awareness, I felt the experiences that I am generating from within had no effects on this pure life form. The life form feels still, pristine and indestructible. Is this what is called “living in the now’? Is this why Master Oogway calls today as the present …a gift? Is this the soul? Too many questions are crossing my mind now.

This awareness helped me understand the primary cause of one of my major personal attribute - I have not been able to grow roots in my life…be it in relationships with people, my career or even my relationship with heath and wealth. As a child due to our challenging economic status, all I cared was “getting out” of my current situation. I constantly declined the gift of now. This deep conditioning is always driving me to “escape” from every situation, not embrace it and grow along with it. I have become increasingly aware of this conditioning.

I am continuing to dive deeper to get a heightened sense of awareness. I am so sure many insights are in the pipeline. Looking forward to share them here. Stay tuned 😊